Colombian-Match: septiembre 2011

jueves, 15 de septiembre de 2011

Accept each other unconditionally

Respect each others wishes and dislikes. Keep the mystery and fascination to each other. Love each moment as if it is the last.

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Speak your partner's love language

We often express love for our spouse in the way we want to receive it. But that is not necessarily the way they need to receive it. Ask your spouse what you can do to make them feel loved and share the same with them. When you give love to your spouse in a way that meets their particular needs, they become more open to expressing love in a way that meets your needs. If you do not share these needs with each other, you can become confused and disappointed.

Bring play back into your relationship

If you find yourself feeling unromantic, ask yourself when was the last time the two of you had fun together. Just plain, silly fun. Doing something like going to an arcade, playing a game, watching a comedy...anything that you may have enjoyed while you were dating or even when you were kids can help you to stay connected. Laugh a lot! Levity is a sexy thing. If you are stuck in thoughts of how much housework you have to do, or that you might wake the kids, more than likely you will not feel romantic. Laugh about the ways that you take your self out of a romantic mood, and soon, you will be back in it.

Ask for what you want

Let your partner know that you are deeply interested in spending some romantic time with them (You would be surprised at how often they are unaware of this.) Whining, demanding, and manipulating are contrary to creating romance, so do your best to ask using kind and loving words.

Create romance within yourself first

We often try to "get" our partners to be more romantic by believing we need to change them in order to have what we want. The truth is that you are much more likely to have what you want when 'you' show up in that way. For example, create your own romantic mood--dress, put on music, prepare sensuous foods, take some time to love and appreciate yourself. It will not take long for your partner to join in the fun!

miércoles, 14 de septiembre de 2011

Listen

All humans crave being seen and heard. Being with your partner, and really listening to them can be magical for you both. Often, we want to fix their problems, but it is much more powerful to listen. Saying, "Wow, I can understand you are frustrated." or "That must have been hard on you." Let your partner know you're hearing them.

Appreciate yourself and your partner

Appreciation means "to grow in value, or to be sensitively aware of." Take time to understand just what it is that you like about yourself, and your partner. Saying for example, "I am doing a good job as a parent by taking time to hug the kids in the morning before they go off to school." or "I really appreciate how dedicated you are to your job." Successful relationships have a 5 to 1 ratio of appreciations to criticisms, so if you really want to heat up your relationship, start appreciating!

Tell the truth

Truth is the ultimate aphrodisiac and a great way to create connection with your partner. For example, you might say "I feel safe when I am with you" or "Sometimes I feel scared that we get so busy with other things that we forget about creating close moments together, but I really want to be close with you." Just share your true feelings and speak from your experience. If you are concealing in your relationship, you will not feel connected, so consider making truth an ongoing priority in your life.

Talk as much as you can

Find some time to talk to each-other about what is going on in your life and share as much as you can. It is pretty important that you know what your partner is thinking about some topics in particular, like if she/he is feeling good about your relationship or not, or how she/he is doing at work. It is also pretty important for you to talk to your partner about your feelings and how things are doing in your life.

How to Maintain Romance

There is so much more involved in keeping romance alive than just candles, bubble baths, and foot massages. You each have to work at it in order to maintain and enjoy romance in your life. Here is how to feed the romantic fires in your relationship in a deep and meaningful way.

martes, 13 de septiembre de 2011

Tip 3

If you know how to sew, you can even make your own dresses or clothes you find in Fashion Magazines.

Tip 2

Remember that fashion models (runway and catwalk ones especially) are often in very good shape. NOT skinny. you should exercise and eat right if you really want to look like a model. Being skinny does NOT look good. Being healthy looks good.

Tip 1

Remember you can always customize your clothes or get a professional to turn them into something completely different.

Tip

If you feel that none of the magazine styles are working for you, experiment! Get different clothes and accessories, and see what looks best on YOU. As long as you feel happy and confident about the way you look, you can look better than a model. (And at least you'll look real).

Do not layer make-up your face

Too much make-up either looks trashy or silly.

lunes, 12 de septiembre de 2011

Make-up Oddly

A lot of people seem to think make-up will change everything. Some wear foundation that is too dark for their skin color, because they think they will not be as pale. But the purpose of make-up isn't to "cover-up" your beauty, it is to enhance your beauty. To "look like a model", you don't have to wear a ton of make-up. Washing your face regularly helps more than anything. If you have a lot of acne, even with make-up, there's not a lot you can do. A little concealer helps if you have a blemish or two, some light blush and some mascara on the top lashes usually gives you a clean, natural look.It looks classy to not pile make-up on your face. Look like you have natural beauty.

Build Self Confidence

Don`t care what people say if you feel you look good strut your stuff down the street like its a catwalk, if you don`t go change.This is a crucial step when dressing like a Model. It's important to know that you look and feel good in what you are wearing, whether it's high-end fashion or a bargain bin find; if you feel you look great in it, then you will look great.

Be Healthy

Looking great will help everyone notice your model clothing. Remember, clothes can on enhance what you already have. You don't need to be a size zero or negative two or whatever to Look Beautiful. Simply take care of yourself, hit the gym two or three times a week. Eat healthier, Take Care of Your Skin and Hair.

Inspiration

You don't want to be exactly like one certain model, but you can use him or her as an inspiration and style plate for your own wardrobe. It can be tricky to find just one model to follow; you may love the things he or she wears in her first spread, but hate the stuff she wears in the second. If that is the case, you can adopt several similar-style role models, and borrow your favorite fashion statements from each. In addition, you NEVER want to copy EVERYTHING a certain model does. He or she is simply there for inspiration, though I find it more inspiring to look through fashion magazines, or surf the web for whatever I like. Being a model isn't always about following the trends, it's about showing off what YOU think looks good, and hopefully inspiring others- making you the trend setter.

How to Dress Like a Model

Do you daydream about dressing like some of those people you see on the catwalk and in magazines? Well, you can dress like them, and add your own touch of style, too.

sábado, 10 de septiembre de 2011

Step 14

Give them a personal object of yours so in a time of need, when they miss you, they are able to hold on to something that once belonged to you. This will provide comfort, happiness, and the thought of being with you.

Step 13

Be positive. Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a long-distance relationship is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive point is that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, to communicate better since you don't have "face-to-face" time and to test (and express) your feelings.

Step 12

Avoid jealousy and be trusting. One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long-distance relationship doesn't mean your lives will pause.

Step 11

Visit often. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some "rules" about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them. Consistency can help a long-distance relationship survive.

Step 10

Remember. Things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.

jueves, 8 de septiembre de 2011

Step 9

Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

Step 8

Try challenging each other. This is not the same as being controlling. You may find that you can do things for each other that you couldn't quite find the motivation to do on your own. Perhaps you could motivate yourselves to get some exercise or to cook better or more often. It will give you something to do while you wait to see your partner again, and it will give you both something to strive for and talk about until then.

Step 7

Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match—or someone else is a better match—your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.

Step 6

Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.

Step 5

Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, not being dragged into a bunch of chick flicks, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality—something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together. Here are additional benefits of long distance relationships.

miércoles, 7 de septiembre de 2011

Step 4

One option.Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Ensure the e-mails are substantive and detailed, it will show that you care enough to put in the time and effort. Write love letters. Send small gifts, cards, or send flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand—you don't take communication for granted! You can set up reminders, including automatically-recurring reminders, for this purpose in calendaring software on your computer or online. This is especially important when you don't have much contact with the other's friends to remember important events such as birthdays.

Step 3

Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think... People in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously. Here's a free list of 90 things you can do with your long distance partnerEnsure the e-mails are substantive and detailed, it will show that you care enough to put in the time and effort. Write love letters. Send small gifts, cards, or send flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand—you don't take communication for granted!You can set up reminders, including automatically-recurring reminders, for this purpose in calendaring software on your computer or online. This is especially important when you don't have much contact with the other's friends to remember important events such as birthdays.

Step 2

Consider using video chat calls every day, text messaging, phone calls and email every day. It is important to maintain contact and to be in each other's daily lives as much as possible.

Step 1

Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?" Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

If you are willing to work it out, here's how to give it every chance to survive and thrive.
Remember that it can work out, statistics show that an estimated 2.9% of US marriages were considered long distance, with 1 in 10 marriages reported to have included a period at long distance within the first 3 years.

martes, 6 de septiembre de 2011

Tip

Jealousy is not the same thing as love. Sometimes, people think that by feeling jealous about someone, they are loving them by envying the things they have. Jealousy is not love; it’s the fear and anger of losing out. Jealousy disappears when you fully understand that to covet someone or something else that does not belong to you is a misjudgement and more than likely a distortion.

Fake it

Portray a non-jealous facade while you work on overcoming jealousy. Eventually, working your way through your feelings, the facade will become real, but in the meantime you will protect yourself from appearing jealous to others.

Work on your self esteem

If you have more confidence in yourself you will be less likely to allow jealousy to have power over you.

Make a list of all your good points and only compare yourself to yourself rather than to others

Raise your sense of self worth and self confidence by acknowledging your accomplishments, inner qualities and other good things about you. One way to change your belief system and inner dialogue, is to journal on a daily basis supportive messages to yourself. In time, your efforts will begin to sink into your subconscious. And as a result, you'll develop new inner strengths, diminish any envious feelings, and feel more joy within and in life.

Change any false beliefs that might cause jealousy

There are often false beliefs that underlie jealousy and fuel emotion. If you examine the belief, you can often eliminate the jealousy. Some common underlying beliefs are “Everyone is out to get my money” or “If this person leaves me, I won't have any friends.” Beliefs are changeable. If you change your belief, you change the way you feel. Choose to tell yourself a belief that is nurturing and supportive, and you’ll feel better. When you begin taking steps to creating a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, you will find the anger, the jealousy, and the fear will disappear. Don't listen to people who make you jealous.

sábado, 3 de septiembre de 2011

Identify what your jealousy is teaching you

Jealousy can alert you to what you want and what is important to you. If you’re jealous of someone talking to a friend of yours, personal relationships may be important to you. If you’re jealous about money, you may have an underlying need for security or freedom. Ask yourself, "Why am I jealous over this? What is making me jealous? What am I trying to keep? Why do I feel threatened?" When you begin to understand what makes you jealous, you can begin to take positive steps to maintain those things, without the cloud of negative emotion that accompanies jealousy.

Communicate your feelings

Sharing your true feelings with someone without blaming them can create a deep sense of connection between the two of you and open up a dialogue about the path of your relationship. Use "I" instead of "you." Instead of saying, "You shouldn't have done that," say, "I felt terrible when that happened."

Allow yourself to actually 'feel' emotions in a healthy way

When you start feeling jealous, ask yourself: Is it more fear-based or more anger-based, and why? Recognize which part of your body is being affected. If you feel a dropping or clutching sensation in your stomach, it’s probably fear. If you feel a burning, tight sensation in your shoulders and jaw, then you’re likely feeling anger. You might also feel a combination of those sensations.

Understand the emotions

Jealousy is a combination of fear and anger: fear of losing something and anger that someone is "moving in on" something that you feel belongs only to you.

How to Handle Jealousy

Many people feel jealous from time to time. Jealousy is easy to deal with, once you understand what it's teaching you. Here are some pointers on working through your emotions and feelings of jealousy.

viernes, 2 de septiembre de 2011

Tips & Warnings

Knowing what love is NOT may be just as helpful as finding out what it is.

Compare it to a loving relationship that you know of

Your relationship doesn't have to be exactly the same as someone else's, but if you can clearly observe the difference, then this might be a flag of something you should key in on.

See things for what they are and be honest with yourself

Sometimes we tend to 'bend' reality slightly to make things fit that don't otherwise belong. If you notice that the comments and conversation are only superficial or that they only speak of one specific area when with you, they may be infatuated with part of you, and not love all of you at the same time. For example, the girl who can't stop talking about her boyfriend's car.

Test the boundaries of what you believe

Notice the lengths that the other person will go for you and if it seems they are pushing too far too fast. Infatuation will not carry the person far for a long time. When someone goes through sunny and rainy days with you, then you know they are there to stay for awhile.

Observe the current behavior in the relationship

What are the characteristics of what you feel, and what does the object of your affection feel towards you? Ask them to describe it to you if possible and find out what they would describe it as. Refer to your definition of love and compare the results.

Evaluate your belief on love and stick to that belief

Find out what love is to you, so that it is clearly defined and you may use it for guidance from there on out. Your emotions may change but at least you will have a 'ruff draft' of what love is to you now.

How to Tell the Difference Between Infatuation and Love

Often times love and infatuation are confused with each other in relationships and daily life. Telling their differences can be a blurry and confusing process when trying to distinguish the two. In these cases we must weigh the example to determine the characteristics it is made of.

jueves, 1 de septiembre de 2011

Warning 1

Never turn to your friend for physical intimacy. It doesn't matter if you'll still be friends in the morning. It's just not worth the risk. It'll not only threaten your friendship, but it'll also threaten the credibility of your friendship to a future romantic partner.

Warning

These instructions really apply to any friendship where romantic interest and physical attraction is a possibility, including a same-sex friends where one or both are homosexual or bisexual.

Tip 5

Invite your significant other (and your friend's significant other) to be a part of the relationship. This doesn't mean that you always have to do things as couples, but the reminder of your and your friend's commitments can help keep you from taking the relationship in directions that you might regret; it also helps keeps feelings of jealousy on the parts of your respective partners at bay.

Tips 4

It's possible you and your friend will develop deeper feelings after a long, platonic friendship. But like any friendship, resolving whether to act on feelings requires honesty from both sides. It doesn't mean you were never platonic friends. It just means the friendship has changed like all do. React to the new feelings in a way that preserves the friendship and makes both of you happy.