Colombian-Match: agosto 2011

miércoles, 31 de agosto de 2011

Tip 2

When you're all together, pay more attention to your partner than to your friend. Encourage your friend to pay more attention to theirs.

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Tip 1

If it seems awkward to bring this topic up with your friend, casually send them a link to this article. They should get the hint.
Don't flirt. Teasing is normal and acceptable to the extent that you'd do it with your same-sex friends (unless it involves touching and/or sexual innuendos).

Tip

Every friendship is different. It's possible to completely ignore all of this advice and still succeed with a cross-gender friendship, but it's not likely because of widespread preconceived notions, natural impulses, and the fact that no relationship is perfect. Consider these preventative measures and adapt them to your own situation as you see fit.

Steps 8

Be careful with your decisions. Simply choosing to meet for lunch over the alternate meeting for dinner, can portray a significant difference to your friend.

Steps 7

Reduce contact or end the friendship if the boundaries can't be clarified or upheld. If your friend is attracted to you as more than a friend and can't seem to put that attraction aside, it's probably best to take the friendship down a notch. Keep contact casual, conversations short, and get-togethers brief. If the friend continues to press for a romantic relationship when you've made it clear that you don't want one, if they constantly trash talk your significant other (without good reason), or if they let their own significant other demean you, then perhaps the friendship isn't worth keeping, and this person should just be more of a friendly acquaintance.

martes, 30 de agosto de 2011

Steps 6

Prevent borderline situations. Don't give people a reason to think you're more than just friends. Having a night out together is fine, but don't bring your friend into social scenarios where everyone else has a date. That is called dating, not friendship. You wouldn't ask your same sex friend to accompany you to your sister's wedding, so don't ask your opposite sex friend! If you are going somewhere that might appear romantic (e.g. a movie or a fancy restaurant) but you do not want it to appear that way, invite another friend of the same sex. Even then, people may insinuate that you are more than friends; be prepared for those suggestions, and think of how you can deny them gracefully.

Steps 5

Minimize sexual tension. Don't be "touchy feely" with your friend, even if you consider yourself to be a naturally affectionate person, and especially if either of you are in a romantic relationship with someone else. Sure, it's possible to make physical contact without inciting sexual attraction, but hormones can play tricks on us. Don't give those hormones a chance to confuse your status as friends. Limit hugs and physical contact to the same amount you share with a sibling or a co-worker, depending on what you feel is appropriate, and what you think your significant other (or theirs) would feel comfortable with. If you find the need to hug and touch them more, then maybe you're not just friends.

Steps 4

Involve the significant other(s).Involve the significant other(s). You should make an honest attempt to befriend their significant other and include yours. Coordinate get-togethers that you all can enjoy as a group. Include your significant other in outings with your friend. Jealousy is much less likely to be an issue if your significant other can get to know your friend. It's going to take time, especially if they don't believe in platonic friendships. Likewise, even if you don't like their significant other, understand there might be a little doubt and jealousy over the friendship. Find out what they like to do and suggest an outing for just the two of you. By becoming a friend to the couple, the doubts and jealousy usually vanish in time.

Steps 3

Talk to your significant other. Ask your friend to talk to theirs. Any insecurities or trust issues within a relationship will be magnified by a cross-gender friendship, especially if the friend is obviously attractive. The opposite-sex friend can often become a scapegoat for relationship problems, and a repeated source of contention. Honesty is the best policy.

Steps 2

Define your relationship as a friendship from the start.Define your relationship as a friendship from the start. In any relationship, cross-gender friendships included, communication is key. Presumptions can lead to broken friendships, misunderstandings, and other problems down the line. Egos aside, address why you both want to be just friends. There's a period in every opposite sex friendship that you question whether or not you should be more. Address it early on. Both of you must want a strictly platonic friendship and understand that's all it will ever be. No matter what anyone says, it is possible to be just friends as long as you have that understanding (and a commitment to the friendship as just that) from the start.

lunes, 29 de agosto de 2011

Steps 1

Determine how you feel about the person, and how they feel about you. Be honest with yourself.

How to Be Just Friends with a Member of the Opposite Sex

With men and women intermingling in various spheres of life that were gender-specific in the past (home, the workplace, sports, school), people of the opposite sex are discovering new common ground and more reasons to be friends. But with the media constantly showing male/female friendships evolving into romantic relationships, many are convinced that a long-term, truly platonic friendship between individuals of the opposite sex just isn't possible. Romantic interest, physical attraction and sometimes, the jealousy of significant others can threaten to sabotage a cross-gender friendship. However, those risks can be circumvented by setting boundaries from the start. It's tricky, but it can be done.

Know the past is over and the present is happening with the future in the tomorrows

Catch yourself if you want to say anything bad about the past and take a walk or at least take a deep breath knowing that has already gone. Save those remarks for your professionals you see on a regular basis for healing. Keep your present times busy, taking care of yourself so you will remain healthy. Stress and depression have a way of invading a space that is vacant. If you are a good model of becoming a good friend, your partner might follow your good example and be open to being your friend too.

Keep your conversations about the past for a counselor

Pastor or support group. A divorce is considered a death so there will be grief and anger issues that a relative or friend should not be burdened with until you can have a better grasp on your own feelings and move into being another, more balanced person for those people. If you can avoid talking over past times with your former, that will help you both if you each talk to a support person rather than each other. When you both have done adequate back yard clean up of your lives, you will possibly be able to be friends with each other.

If you are dating someone else

Do not flaunt that in the face of the other person. Keep that information to yourself, since you do not want to make your friend feel badly that you have easily moved on from the union so soon.

Avoid the places you both went together for several months, if possible

Healing is easier if you don't put salt in the wound. Plan on leaving with a neighbor or relative when your former comes to pick up the children. A special person can relinquish the children for you so you cannot be present for several of the first times after your union has been broken. If you do not have someone you can trust to stay with your children, make it a point to have a rule to pick up only and for your former partner not to stay. With you, taking care of you, some of your needs will be met instead of letting the former set his own thoughts into cement. Remember you are working towards becoming friends and are no longer partners.

Set some ground rules for visitation of your children and for yourself

The former spouse should not be treated like he had been before when he is going to enter into a friendship area now. Think of how you would treat a good friend and refer to those ideas for your former partner. The former spouse should not be permitted to stay in your bed. If you have a couch or separate bedroom for him and you are comfortable with him in the same house, your rule is set in that way. Inform your former spouse of these rules beforehand, so there will not be any idea he will be sleeping with you as usual.

Referring to your separated partner as a former spouse puts a different tone to everything

Not only does it sound better to people you are talking to, but if you have children, it will be so much better for them to hear than ex. Your attitude toward this estranged person can be a neutral one if you try to look toward them as a friend and former rather than nasty name calling or ex.

Early in the separation of partners, each should realize there is much hurt from both sides

Don't push the friends idea too soon. Everyone has different times to accept the marriage did not work well for each of you, so allow the other person to seek out the time they will accept you as a friend. Meanwhile there are things to do all by yourself. If your partner will listen, you can share these with him or her. If it is too soon for cordial talk, remember these things and share them when the timing is better.

How to Become Friends With Your Ex Partner

Marriages will sometimes end in separation or divorce, which is why these tips are written to help. First hand information can be helpful for you to become friends with your ex partner and hopefully they are reading this too.

sábado, 27 de agosto de 2011

Strong winds, heavy rain lash N.C. coast

Coastal North Carolina felt the early effects of Hurricane Irene on Saturday as it is expected to make landfall near Cape Lookout.

Irene lo podría hacer a Nueva York

Hurricane experts are warning New Yorkers that millions of people could be trapped in their homes for days, without power, transportation and phones.

Steps 15

Try each time you guys talk to make it interesting, don't make it to look like a boring chat, or she/he will lose interest in you! Usually, when you run out of ideas, or if you do the other should come up with other chat ideas, remember that running out of things to say will sooner or later go to a breakup!

Steps 14

Limit joking/sarcasm to phone conversations. Sometimes people get mixed messages from being unable to tell the tone, and don't understand if it was said in a jocular manner or if the other person meant it.

Steps 13

Having a fight online is probably one of the worst things because its so easy to cut someone out if Internet is the only connection between you two. Also it's hard to tell the tone from a bunch of words written on a page. Always, always, always take a step back, calm down before hastily replying and back off if you need to. Sometimes you may not mean something harsh, but the other person won't realize that and get hurt.

Steps 12

Be involved in the other person's life. Sometimes having an online relationship can really work for you in the sense that you have things written down (in emails or conversations) and they make good reference to go over in case you're bad with names or can't keep incidents straight in you head, or simply want to double check something they said. Ask them specific questions which show that you're involved in their life.

Steps 11

Use MSN to your advantage. For MSN users, let your display pictures be pictures of the two of you, and sync your MSN nicks (such as both use a line from a song you both like, or have your personal message as a countdown for when you see them next).

Steps 10

Be romantic and send the other person random gifts, which can work even if the couple lives in different countries by checking out websites that delivers flowers/teddies in their country and placing an order online.

Steps 9

Play the Anywhere Anytime Anyhow game, which works great if you both have Blackberries (which allow instant email updates) where one person emails the other person a task and no matter what the person's doing, they have to complete the task (make the tasks fun!).

Steps 8

Consider making a joint email account if you don't want anyone else to accidentally read an email your significant other sends you or visa versa. Make it something to do with you both, such as your names or birthdays or even favorite songs/bands, and send emails from your account to that account for them to read.

viernes, 26 de agosto de 2011

Hurricane Irene stalks U.S. coast

The first large rain bands from Hurricane Irene approached the Carolina coast late morning as residents there scurried from its path and communities up and down the densely populated East Coast waited for the storm.

UK jets bomb Gadhafi's hometown

Opposition and NATO forces took aim at the Gadhafi regime in Tripoli and Gadhafi's hometown of Sirte on Friday as rebels worked to consolidate their power across Libya.